neglect

Hello, it's me again. So sorry I've been treating this blog like a spouse that you rely on to the extent that you can sort of overlook that they need to be appreciated and listened to too. Like how I personify my blog?! But I think it's something very easy to do, not be mindful, and sort of take for granted those closest to us - especially with the rat race of day to day and I'm no Palin fan but things are feeling very end of days globally of late. Soo... I will try to post more regularly. I finished my finals, looks like I've chalked up to more As. I know it's only community college but it makes me happy to have a 4.0 in school. I wish I had been this dedicated as an undergrad but, you know, being young and dumb I was more focused on boys. Oh well, it's never too late to discover your inner science geek is what I tell myself. Before Christmas arrives I have grand plans to paint over the living room, dining room, half bath and hallway - I don't know if all of this (or any) will be realized but I like to aim high. I'm getting a new camera for my birthday (yippee) so even if I don't post random interior monologues I'll try to get back to posting photos more often, although finding the photogenic parts of Pittsburgh in the winter is a somewhat herculean task. Hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving. I gorged on sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce and gravy - seriously I could eat that every day without getting bored. But... I'm trying to learn more about healthy eating and will try not to be such an emotional eater in the new year. I really don't know how any mom can not be an emotional eater but I'll try. It's odd because people will comment on me being small or there's a woman at the gym who's always assuming I have no problems with my weight but my mind is like a size 12 person stuck in a much smaller size body. It sounds so fake to say but it's true, no matter how much I weigh I always seem to look the same and I focus on the bulging parts- sort of like how I focus on all the crack in my walls. I think if you've ever struggled with an eating disorder it might make sense but otherwise it might seem like you're looking for a compliment handout. Anyhoo, I'll try to post cheery pictures in the next few days.

oona's been busy

Yep, it definitely seems to be different with girls. Oona blessed us with this creative display a couple of weeks ago. She also hit the dining room and living room walls. Mind you she did all this handiwork while I spent five, ten minutes tops, packing my bag for the gym and gathering snacks for the kids while they're at the gym. Imagine my surprise when I came upon all the scribblings.
On the plus side, these are rooms that we're planning on repainting anyway. In the spring Oona's moving out of her tiny room to Owen's room and Owen's moving up to the guest bedroom (we don't get many visitors) and Oona's room will become my craft room/office for nursing school.

I like how the scribbles sort of look like speech bubbles, but don't let Oona know that I said that. Her room looks horrible right now - no pictures (she swings them against the wall), no curtains (pulled at), broken windowshade (guess who broke it), dresser taken out of room when she tried to climb it and it almost fell on top of her. Her room is a bit like a cell but she's three and pretty destructive. There are a bunch of stuffed animals though.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

refinishing job #2

This is a buffet I got back in September for $60 from the Goodwill. Sort of had a late 60s early 70s tacky vibe to it - I hated the carving detail in the legs that was stained a darker color but I was hoping I could refinish this to work with my decor. My decor being hodgepodge on a budget, which I would define as simple country, coziness and family friendly atmosphere a must. I'm terrible at documenting 'before' pictures as I'm usually so eager to start a project I jump right in, thus the drawers were already stripped in this photo. Of course I jump right in like an energizer bunny and then hit a wall very quickly, like when I realize my vision will take longer than an afternoon to do. And the project drags out for weeks or months. But this one is finally through, thank God and I'm on to the next project in masochism.





And after. Overall I'm happy with the way it turned out, although the 'rusty red' iron pulls and knobs don't match (the knobs are rustier). I'm not a huge fan of 'rusty red' for a hardware finish but the boring size for the pulls is 4 1/2" which makes your pull pickings very slim. Now I can't wait to fill this puppy up with all the crap cluttering the bookshelves in our living room. My goal for the new year is to streamline/declutter the living room and dining room (as much as I can having two kids). Let me know what you think and if you have any idea how I can tone down the rustiness on the knobs.

cold snap

The cold weather has come too early to Pittsburgh. Here in the house of Amelia Plum that means... Oona's is experiencing the static induced bad hair days a month or two sooner than usual. Fortunately she's cute enough that she seems to be able to pull off the look. I've tried lightly coating my hands in lotion and then patting down her hair. But, honestly, nothing seems to work. It's so fine and she's adamant about having no barrettes or other type of hair accessories in said hair (I'm lucky to get a hat on her).

And Owen's back to hogging all the hot air coming out of the living room register. No wonder it's always so darn cold in the living room. I understand why Owen does it though, at times I think I should start a blog Feed Owen where I just put a picture up of him in all his skinny glory and see how much money we could collect in food donations. But I wouldn't do that because it's fraud and he does eat a lot it just doesn't seem to stick on him. Don't we wish we all had that problem?!

bruise dementia

Two posts in one day, can you handle it? In other mundane news I have had this bruise for over a week now ( I just took this totally unflattering picture) and I have absolutely no idea how this bruise got there. I notice this happening more and more as I approach 40 (less than one month away, yikes) that I get bruises on my legs, usually on the thighs and I have no idea how they got there or what I bumped into. So last week I'm changing into my pj's and notice this huge oval and I'm completely baffled, did I inadvertently use the hose attachment on the vacuum on my leg? In other news my vacuum died a spectacular death last week. I'm cleaning when all of a sudden I jumped because it sounded like gunfire but it was only the belt breaking on the vacuum. I would have brought it for repair until I noticed that a piece of plastic and a screw blew right off the vacuum's body (I found it under the sofa a nasty jagged triangle of death) and was thankful that my kids weren't in the living room when I was cleaning, imagine getting impaled by a vacuum remnant. Toby was playing X-box at the time but he also escaped injury. Does anyone know if those Dyson's are worth the obscene amount of money they charge for them?

hello goodbye halloween and october

Okay, so I'm obviously terribly behind in posting to my blog. The country's so different, halloween has passed, we have the hope of our new president-elect - thank you Florida, Ohio, and all you other awesome states that turned blue this election! My Grandma is on hospice and no longer can get around on her own, she's declined cognitively a bunch but don't count her out yet - she's back to eating, well nibbling on her favorite frosted cookies, and she's gotten back that fiesty spark in her eyes. Well, back to Halloween, I totally dropped the ball and didn't take pictures when the kids went trick or treating but fortunately my neighbor got one pic of our kids from that night. Owen would be the one wearing the somewhat scary Anakin Skywalker (from The Clone Wars he'd have you know!) mask.

Oona's titled her costume 'Bad Princess Kitty' a girl who at three is already in touch with the virgin whore dichotomy. She loved twirling around and playing with her artfully shredded skirt but wasn't so keen on wearing the mask or the elbow length velvet gloves. Miraculously Pittsburgh experienced its second straight year of beautifully mild Halloween weather (I always feel so bad for the kids when it's a nasty night of freezing rain and they have to cover up their costumes with coats) so it was a great day out.

Oona's school had a halloween parade (like how I 'framed' the picture with the two spidermen in her class) and here she is hugging one of her buddies. Her teachers had come to our house for a parent teacher conference a few weeks ago and they mentioned that a few of the girls in the class have already formed cliques where they'll exclude other girls (it's baffling and horrible that this crap starts at 3 and 4) which, obviously, upsets the girls that are excluded. But they said Oona doesn't care at all. She'll play with whomever, boys, girls, popular or not. Thank God! Owen's the same way at his school, he'll play with anyone as long as they aren't bullies or bossy, which makes me happy as a clam that they're kind.

Just a little fyi about the picture. Owen voted in school yesterday - for Obama for president, pizza as his favorite food and when asked his favorite color he wrote all. He also drew this picture, which is now in the front window. The purple person in front of the white house is Owen, Obama is holding the flag in one hand and a net in the other because he's trying to get McCain in his net (McCain being the tiny man in the bottom corner). Oh I wish he'd made this earlier so I could have turned it into a t-shirt!

balance

My mom was out from Friday to this morning and my gluten free diet fell by the wayside while she was here (like big time - 5 slices of pizza on friday and a huge chocolate chip paradise pie from chilis last night). But today I'm back to my gluten free ways. I didn't see much difference but I was only gluten free for four days so maybe that's why. My Grandmother is on hospice now, the reason why my Mom came out. She's declined considerably since she went to the hospital three weeks ago and I was fighting with the nurses at Sunrise about putting her on hospice last week. My mom is the power of attorney so she had to go by what I was saying and the contradictory stuff the head nurse was saying but when she came out she could understand why I felt she needed to be put on hospice. I cannot tell you how incensed I get at some of the absolute bullshit that goes on with geriatric care. Grandma's doctor was saying it was too abrupt to put her on hospice so suddenly but the woman hasn't even seen my Grandmother in over a month so she has no real idea of how bad she looks, she's lost a ton of weight and she was bird sized to begin with. I won't go into all the details but suffice it to say the way the elderly are treated in this country, especially those with dementia issues, is absolutely deplorable. It makes me apoplectic and determined to go through nursing school so I can change the system for the better, in my own little way I hope to make a difference. So I'll be posting less regularly because I'm trying to visit my Grandma as much as I can, even if she sleeps when I'm there I like to think just being there and holding her arm or patting her leg makes her feel calmer. And I'm insanely devoted to my gym time in order to physically expel all this frustrating energy I deal with day to day. Health care and gym membership should be a right not a privilege in my book.
Just as an aside you know how you'll see all sorts of political signs like 'catholics for obama' or 'italian americans for mccain' I was daydreaming about completely elitist obama support signs like 'mensas for obama' or 'arugula lovers for obama' or 'scrabble lovers for obama' stuff like this just makes me laugh which I need to do or I'll start bawling. Ooh, I saw Rachel Getting Married over the weekend and highly recommend it; an amazing film, Anne Hathaway is extraordinary and it's a great tearjerker - at least for me it was.

day two

I'm finishing up my second wheat free day and fear I might turn into a squirrel by the end of this experiment - I'm eating so many darn nuts! I'm addicted to cashews and almonds are my 'healthy' nut choice. I never thought I would come to a point where I would feel this way but cutting out the wheat, sugar and caffeine isn't about losing weight. Given the years (far too many years) I've beaten myself up about my body, this is pretty miraculous. No I'm doing this experiment - 3 weeks without wheat, then sugar and finally caffeine, to see if it will change my energy, health level for the better. If some of the thickness from my thighs migrated up to my boobs I'd be pleased as punch but I don't think that's going to happen and given all the time I spend at the gym I actually feel good about my body. It's far from perfect but I'm pleased at all that it can accomplish and I love being strong. I'm not bodybuilder strong but I'm much stronger than I was before I started going to the gym. Gym membership is one thing I'm always going to make a point of including in my life because I think it's one of the best ways to take care of myself - plus I love to people watch there and catch up on bad TV and gossip rags in between reading A&P and Pharmacology. Happy Tuesday everyone!

state of the union

And by union I mean my solipsistic state of being, trying to make sense of the random jumble of crap filtering through my mind lately...

1. Ongoing internal debate over how much to do to fix up this house. I want to redo both bathrooms and the kitchen and redo the ceilings and floors, oh and I'd like to redo the cracking plaster walls and - this is the madness of owning a house, at least to me, I see every darn imperfection and want to fix it like yesterday. I'm also obsessed with taking down our wonky garage myself, with my own bare (well glove covered) hands and redoing our postage stamp backyard for major city/space appeal.

2. Is the Daily Mirror a reputable london paper? something tells me it might be the equivalent of Star. I want to know the veracity of this article on McCain's first wife.

3. Is it completely bitchy of me to find typos funny? They never cease to make me laugh, especially hand-painted ones where they're selling fruit and melon is misspelled or the ampersand is backwards. And two emails I got from friends, to this day they make me laugh to think about them. One was announcing a birth where they inadvertently wrote 'we could be happier' and another where someone meant to write about a debilitating illness but put depilitating instead, like a Nair induced illness of alopecia. So it's probably bitchy of me to find these things so funny right? Unless you're a comrade in the geek humor of typos. I even cracked myself up captioning a picture of Oona behead instead of bedhead, fortunately I caught it before posting it online.

4. Am I insane to try and go 3 weeks without wheat in my diet? I've started today and let me just tell you wheat, sugar and caffeine are the base of my food pyramid but I keep wondering if I'll feel better eliminating them from my diet so... I've tiptoed in and started with wheat today, the easiest one to me. Will let you know if I feel any miraculous change in energy, intelligence or if my skin starts beaming with health. Letting go of caffeine will be, without a doubt, the hardest one for me to give up. Anyone who's tried elimination diets and has advice/warnings to offer feel free to comment.

5. They have specialized hospitals for children, woman and cancer patients here in Pittsburgh. Why not a specialized hospital for geriatric patients with a significant part devoted to handling patients with the dementia? After my two experiences in the ER with my Grandma I can tell you that there is a desperate need for specialized acute care when dealing with the elderly, especially those with dementia and it is sorely lacking currently. And while we're on it when will this country get real to needing universal healthcare so everyone can be covered and no one has to cut medicine in half to make it last longer or wait until things are really really bad to go see the doctor. This should be a given wherever in the world you live. I don't care if you're gay, illegal, albino, hypochondriacal, megalomaniacal - everyone should be able to get and stay healthy.

another year another pumpkin

We went to our usual pumpkin picking hang out today, although this year it was just us and the kids, no extended family or friends to join in on the fun. Let me tell you the pickings were pretty slim this late in October. I usually go for greenish pumpkins but there were none to be had, just a scant few orange pumpkins lying in the fields waiting to be chosen. It was an incredibly beautiful day though and Owen found a ginormous pumpkin to call his own. At the main entrance was a nursery where Oona got a tiny pie pumpkin and I got a funky looking pumpkin that's pale green and looks like it has leprosy, I'll show you it when I bring out the halloween decor for the living room. Yes, it is a little late, like I should have brought the Halloween stuff out on October 1st but the fall season has passed me by in a blur of anatomy and drugs - my classes it's not like I'm living a Jim Morrison lifestyle but if you read this blog with any regularity I'm sure you're aware of that.

This picture of Owen is so cute except that his head appears to be tilted a little too far to the left. I'm not sure if this is the result of the way I took the photo or if Owen has been flipping through my issue of Voguelooking for ways to pose for the camera. I doubt it though, he'll go for Toby's Game Informer over my fashion magazines. Before we left for the farm I made a mental note to put something in Owen's hair to calm those little cowlick devil horns poking out at the sides as his head, as you can see the mental note was quickly forgotten in a mom related attack of dementia. Don't even get me started on my Grandma, who I stopped by to see this morning. Losing your children and losing your mind would be my two greatest fears in life.

Oona loved the goats in the petting zoo part of the farm. She just sat down next to one particularly calm goat and pet it's back most of the time we were in there. Now there were a couple goats that were very hungry and thirsty and they'd basically mob people trying to get food or drink off of them as soon as they walked through the door. We bought a bottle of milk for the kids to split and one ravenous goat latched onto Owen when he had the bottle and slurped all the milk down in under ten seconds. The goats also really liked Oona's hoodie, two of them kept trying to nibble her hood, maybe they thought she had feed in it.

Here's Toby with the kids. Oona refused to take the lollipop out of her mouth for the picture. We got three pumpkins, the kids went on pony rides, they got to pet farm animals and after thoroughly dousing our hands in hand sanitizer we finished off the day with a paper plate full of funnel cake. Now the kids are quietly tucked in their beds and I'll be going up the street to pick up some Coke and potato chips, I've got the sunday night munchies. Let me know if you think this new banner is better than last week's filler.

filler

Until I get around to taking a better fall picture this banner will have to do for now. Let's see, let's see, since I last posted a lot has been going on. I finished the sideboard/buffet I'd been working on, pictures to come soon. I took out the dropped ceiling in our half bath on the first floor. Yikes! There's previous water damage that makes it look like the tub could fall through the ceiling. I think, hope, pray it looks worse than it actually is. This half bath suffered through a real half-assed renovation, the way the dropped ceiling was put in, the original window chopped down to fit the new dropped ceiling, the seemingly random wall for an awkward hallway area that's essentially useless between the bath, main hall and basement. It's all baffling to me. I want to completely gut it and make it a full bath but my name isn't bob villa so we'll see. Right now the ceiling is covered in industrial garbage bag black plastic so, needless to say, the room isn't looking its best right now.

Hmm, in other news Owen just spent an hour and a half in the bathroom bawling while trying to get poop out which when it finally did come out is about as big as his thigh. And that's after drinking plum juice for days. I should have weighed him before and after the poop. Poor kid, Owen and Oona have such awful poop problems thanks to my side of the family. My grandma is back in the hospital due to lower back pain. I spent close to 8 hours in the ER with her yesterday and was ready for a paycheck once I left. The place was a zoo, there were patients on gurneys in the hallway, not the way I envisioned spending my Sunday. I have to find time to go over there sometime today. Toby's at a parent/teacher conference for Owen. We were all hoping to go but Owen's was stuck in the bathroom until fifteen minutes ago.

In other news, I've been going through this prolonged wait and see about lab tests that I originally had done in July. My Dr. said it indicated a possible auto-immune problem and referred me to a rheumatologist. At first the rheumatologist was 70% sure I had Sjogren's Syndrome and sent me for more lab work and to see an opthamologist. If you're going to have anything autoimmune (trust me you don't want anything autoimmune) Sjogren's is the most benign thing to have. Basically your body attacks your tear ducts and mucus membranes so you get really dry eyes, dry mouth and it sounds pretty sucky. I do not have Sjogren's(phew) the eye doctor did a test where they put paper strips in your eyes to see how much tears you produced and I teared up fine. SO I went back to the rheumatologist last wednesday and he's completely stumped as to how I could go from having an ANA of 320 with a speckled titer pattern to being fine, the most recent ANA was under 20 which is normal and I guess the titer pattern is homogenous now. When I asked how that could be, instead of attributing it to lab error he attributed it to my being anxious. I swear I never want to tell doctors I have anxiety because then they say that's the basis of all my problems and as far as I know anxiety isn't capable of giving you a sky high (his words) anti-nuclear antibody reading with a specklde pattern titer! Don't get me wrong I'm overjoyed not to have lupus or sjogren's but I don't get all the anxiety talk when I'm not a hypochondriac (about my kids I'm a total hypochondriac and fear the worst when they get sick but myself I just get annoyed when I'm sick), I don't wring my hands or jump to conclusions or think I have every ailment known to man. When I found out about a possible autoimmune problem in July I thought it could be lupus since I'm tired a lot and get a random facial rash from time to time but aside from the fatigue, rash and totally minor joint pain I'm fine. I just find it supremely frustrating to pigeonholed because I'm honest about being anxious. But thank God I'm not this poor woman who suffered for 15 years of being misdiagnosed as an anorexic with bulimia when it turned out she had celiac disease - very long but fascinating excerpt on this book I still have to read.

butt butt

Oona refers to her butt as her butt butt and let me tell you I've been seeing a lot of both kids butts the past week. When I hinted about reaching a whole new level of dr. momhood last night well, it might have been better if I said I've thought, in momentous of overtired humor/weakness that I should at least consider outfitting the bathrooms in my house with toilet seat covers. Over the past few weeks one of Owen's friends got lice, Owen escaped that one, phew. Before that my niece got scabies, which she was sweetly informing everyone and their mother about. Poor thing, I got scabies in college after sleeping on a really nasty couch, that happened to be in the suite I was living in, my sophmore year, that stuff is nasty. Well I knew it was too good to last, that some nastily named affliction would hit my kids and it did. Oona wound up with ringworm on her butt and the back of her thighs, basically where your body comes in contact with a toilet seat. So you can pick up stuff from a public toilet and to think she had to use a port-a-potty twice at the renaissance fair. Ringworm isn't very contagious, but children don't have the strongest immune systems and their skin is more permeable, thank you pharmacology class, so I'm lotioning up her butt and thighs morning and night with jock itch cream. Who knew that jock itch, athlete's foot and ringworm are three names for the same skin infection. Two days after I learned about Oona's ringworm Owen was talking to Toby and I one night before dinner and said there was a spot on the back of his leg where it hurt when he touched it. Toby told him not to touch it and I asked him to drop his pants there in the kitchen so I could see what the problem was. He had a nasty looking boil with a pustule in the center of the red welt right where his leg meets his butt. When I helped him get ready for bed I found three more on his butt and perineal raphe, thank you A&P 2 for that anatomically correct term. I took them both to the doctor the next day and was ready for a Silkwood moment where our family gets hosed down and decontaminated. Of course with my mind I'd already gone down the rabbit hole worrying if Owen had somehow caught VD, how would be beyond me, and then I worried that they'd think I gave it to him. It's sick how ready I am to be deemed the bad mother, marked with a scarlet letter for my maternal failings. Fortunately the doctor picked up on my neurotic nature, must have been the nonstop hand-wringing and put me at ease. He took one look at Owen and said perianal Strep and started writing out scripts for an oral and topical antibiotic. He didn't even bother to test it, said his very red butt and the satellite red marks were textbook. Who knew you could get strep down there. I had a really sore throat at the time and asked if I should get checked for strep and the doctor's like 'I hope you don't have it down there as well.' Which I, once again, spent way too long trying to interpret - is he joking with me? is he saying I better not have it because that would mean I'd be doing unspeakable things with my son? This is why the two times I need to take Oona to the ER for head injuries I was convinced they'd single me out as a mom doing munchausen by proxy. I exhaust myself with the mom guilt flagellations at times. But on the bright side. Owen's strep is clearing up wonderfully. Oona still has one telltale ring mark but hopefully it will fade soon and I'm thinking I should probably add clorox wipes to my diaper bag arsenal since Oona won't sit on the seat when there's a seat protector on it.

my word

Sorry, I have been very remiss in current blog posts. The past month has been a blur. I'm in full swing with my classes and trying to manage reading (usually on the elliptical at the gym), homework, seeing my grandma and all my mother/wife duties well I thought I might collapse until Oona started preschool full time. Yep, that's right Oona is in school five days a week now. And I think I might survive my fall semester and Oona will hopefully learn from the other students and her preschool teacher that blood curdling screams and saying you're stupid are not effective tools for getting your way. Oh, I've tried but I'm helpless to that scream of hers, it drains the blood out of me and I'm just compelled to stop it.

So Oona turned three on saturday and we had Toby's parents over and treated Oona to a pink party, since pink is her favorite color. This is one of the many things that Oona picked up from her babysitter - pink, a love of nailpolish and being very girly, bugs now scare her. I can't complain A- was a wonderful sitter and Oona loves her to bits. I had class on saturday but stopped at the grocery store afterwards to pick up two dozen cupcakes (half chocolate cake & half white cake) with pink frosting and pink & purple sprinkles. Giant Eagle's bakery (that's our local grocery chain) makes awesome frosting. I think I scarfed down four chocolate cupcakes throughout the day, if not more. God and Toby and I went out to dinner, since his parents were kind enough to watch the kids, and I had chocolate dessert at the restaurant we went to. I'm a chocolate junkie.

Toby's parents wisely bought Owen a present so he didn't whine incessantly watching Oona open all of her goodies. They got him this wooly mammouth fossil kit which was a great idea but... Owen kept asking me to do it for him. And it takes a long time, and a lot of work, to unearth just one of the bones. So I sped things up by soaking the whole 'site' in the sink and then those bones popped out lickety split. I'm a horrible enabler, I know. The next day we went with the kids and Toby's parents to the zoo and Oona started the trip off right by doing a face plant while running to the elevator. This is the second time in as many days that she's done this and both times when she'd start screaming I'm thinking that she must have knocked her teeth out. But, curiously, in a move the physics of which I don't understand, she hits the top of her forehead. At the zoo it started swelling and bruising immediately and it was all scraped up from the concrete too. Good thing she has bangs. I spent the rest of the zoo trip telling her to walk not run, what a killjoy I am. Wondering whether she tripped because her shoes are too small, which means I'm guilty of depriving my daughter of shoes that fit. And finally wondering how to get her to understand that she has to use her hands not her face to break her fall.


When we got home Toby's parents left Toby crashed on the couch while the kids watched Scooby Doo Zombie Island which takes the banality of Scooby Doo to a whole nother level and not a good one but there is a catchy song that winds up in my head all too frequently. And then it was Monday and our rat race started all over again. But it's all good. Everyone is happy, if a little tired. And I'll have to fill you in on my new level of Dr. Momhood tomorrow.

my sensitive son

Poor Owen. I brought him to school today and Monday is when the gifted students take a bus over to the gifted center for the day. Oona and I brought him to the end of the line and I could see that he was upset. I told him not to worry and that just started the tears. He cried saying that he didn't want to go to gifted. I think it's because, as far as I know, no one from his grade goes there yet. I tried to reassure him, reminding him about the math teacher that he likes so much there and asking if he saw Matthew, the boy that he mentioned was so funny on the bus ride home last time. He just shook his head and kept sniffling. I went up to Ms. S a woman that helps with pretty much everything at that school and she saw that Owen was upset and asked what she could do. I mentioned that last time he went he was nervous and two boys, S and E and a girl, A, helped him out. So Ms. S called out the two boys and asked if they would help Owen out and they nodded dutifully and brought him back to where they were standing. It breaks my heart to see him get so upset but I think it's best if he perseveres through it. Severe isn't a part of that word for nothing but I truly think he'll be better for it in the long run.

A few weeks ago Owen started talking about a blanket that one of Toby's artist friends made for him when he was born. It was a satin blanket with dots all over it, from clay soaked in dye. He used to sleep with it all the time until it tore apart 3 years ago. Now he hasn't said boo about that blanket in three years but he started talking about it in the car and how he really missed his blanket and he just started bawling. I felt awful trying to comfort him while driving, feeling so bad I couldn't give him a hug. I told him that I had saved a few squares and maybe we could piece together a special pillow for him with the fabric if he liked and he nodded, looking out the window sniffling back more tears. I really feel for Owen- he's just like me in being very shy initially and painfully sensitive. My Mom has two sisters and will talk about how she always wanted a big brother to protect her. The thing is, I think Oona will be more of a protector for Owen because she adores him, won't take crap from anyone and becomes very upset if she sees that Owen's upset. He's such a sweet little boy. Every day at the end of school he goes over to his kindergarten teacher from last year and gives her a hug. He's incredibly bright (he now stays up past his bed time lying in his bed reading books, can't really fault him for that) and thoughtful and so loivng. But I worry for Owen. He's not a typical boy. He isn't real physical, he tends to like doing more quiet activities, and being different, and so darn skinny, I'm terrified he's going to get beat up one of these day.

where did the first two weeks of september go?

Here are pictures of the kids taken from their cousin's birthday party a couple of weeks ago. I'd include pictures of my niece but her Mom doesn't want them on the internet, which I can respect. She seemed very happy about her party and had a great time with her cousins and other family and friends who came out for the big day. The kids all got to enjoy one last swim on their backyard blow up pool, which would take up our whole back yard but they've got an acre on land that's very pretty, although it might not look so nice when it's time to mow.

Owen now loves splashing around in the water. I'd love to get him more swim lessons during the school year but with karate two nights a week and toby in school two nights a week I don't think I can manage swim lessons a couple nights a week as well. I'm so absent minded being a stay at home mom, I think it's because I'm constantly thinking about a bunch of different things at once and it's obviously not working for me. Last week at the gym, after my mad dash from classes to pick up Oona at preschool and Owen at school, I rushed onto the elliptical with a bottle of communal hairspray from the women's locker room. I don't even use hairspray and have no idea how the thing wound up in my hand. Let's keep our fingers crossed that I'm not suffering from really early onset dementia.

I've taken on yet another refinishing project. I got a buffet from Goodwill a couple weeks ago for $60. Now I'm in the middle of the masochistic task of my multiple layers of paint for an aged, distressed look. I'll be sure to put up pictures once it's done. I wish I had more time to do all the crafts I'd like to do and have time with the kids and study for my classes. Times like this I wish I was one of those people who can get by on five hours of sleep. Unfortunately I'm a crabby zombie on anything less than 8 hours and even then I need a lot of coffee throughout the day to sustain me.

i heart the economist

This picture has absolutely nothing in common with the rest of this post. I just feel that posts always look a little bereft without a picture to spice them up. And let me tell you this is the most photogenic thing in our backyard, which could benefit from a lot of time, love, a mowing and some money thrown at it, but will have to wait indefinitely for now. Anyhoo... this link shows yet another reason why I love The Economist and anyone concerned about this upcoming presidential election should read The Economist's section on United States politics regularly - it will inform you much more than any of our television news shows will, aside from Newshour with Jim Lehrer. Whenever Owen hears the musical intro to Jim Lehrer's show he hits his hand against his forehead knowing that's the end of enjoyable PBS programs for him. Plus, if you pick up the magazine you can see the cheeky comments they put under the photo captions which always crack me up. I can't read the magazine regularly anymore, now that A&P and Pharmacology demand way too much of my time. But that magazine is like a smart, funny friend that never ceases to teach me something and make me smile.

mani-pedi

I had a test in A&P last tuesday and decided to reward myself by getting a mani-pedi since I have worked quite hard in my classes and I haven't had a manicure since Owen was four months old and a pedicure since Owen was still a bun in the oven. I also figured I could read my Pharmacology book while getting the pedicure but I ran into a woman I know from the gym whose son was in preschool with Owen. She's this incredibly pretty Indian woman who was raised in England so when I look at her and listen to her talk I salivate over how beautiful and cultured she is. And she has lovely long fingers and toes - perfect for mani-pedis. I'm totally jealous of all of you with index toes bigger than your big toe, it's supposed to be a sign of beauty. Me on the other hand, God blessed me with Fred Flinstone feet. I've been flat footed since I was a child and my feet are just nasty. I've got a wicked scar on my right big toe, the fender of a tricycle went into my toe when I was two and my Dad was watching me while my Mom was at the laundromat. The middle toe on my right foot suffered from failure to thrive and is the same height as the ring finger toe (this photo actually flatters my feet and gives the illusion that my middle toe isn't foreshortened). But enough about my ugly feet.

I couldn't relax getting the mani-pedi because the woman doing it was about eight months pregnant and she spoke very little english but chatted with the other women working at the nail salon in some asian dialect and that makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I'm this wealthy (not) white person exploiting her. Then while she was doing my finger nails she accidently stepped on one of my toe nails and smudged the polish and I'm spending minutes wondering how to politely bring up that she did this. She stepped on my toe again and then realized what she did, BUT THEN she got on her knees and touched it up and I'm feeling awful having this heavily pregnant woman on her knees on the floor touching up my ugly toes. The language barrier and her big belly made my post test pampering feel bad. And to top it off, after drying my nails and leaving the salon I reached into my bag to grab my keys and smudged my thumbnail. I might have to stick to massages as my pampering treat. Although my Mom lives in Staten Island and she said you can get mani-pedis for $17 there, maybe I could go for a Sopranos-esque mani-pedi there, should probably watch The Sopranos (I've never seen an episode) before doing that though. Here in Pittsburgh I couldn't find anything under $44.

ta da

Almost three weeks later and this is finally done. Phew! This took a lot longer than I expected, you'd think I'd figure that out by now with refinishing furniture since it always takes a lot longer than I originally think. And midway I always start thinking 'What have I gotten myself into? Is this crappy piece of furniture worth all the fuss?' One coat of paint, one coat of stain, another coat of paint, a coat of celery green stain, a coat of dove grey stain and two coats of polyurethane later and voila, it is done. Overall I'm happy with the way it turned out. It was really difficult with the different paint layers because I was doing everything after the kids went to bed and I couldn't judge the colors real well by my porch light in the dark. The final grey stain made everything work out better. And I'm in love with the hardware - Target makes my day once again. Next project will be a rocker from Toby's Mom but today I've got to study for an A&P test tomorrow. Let me know what you think.

detox

Okay so I'm the sort of person who goes through food kicks where I'll eat the same thing for inordinately long periods of time. In my twenties these food kicks were not the most healthy, salt & vinegar kettle chips with a king size bag of m&m's was my lunch for, oh about 6 months, while I freelanced at Martha Stewart. During that time I also used to hit McDonalds for super-sized meals 3 to 4 times a week, how I was at my lightest during that fast food period is dumbfounding. But this summer, after a lovely visit to my friend Elise, I got on a kick of eating plain greek yogurt with granola and blueberries for breakfast, and frequently lunch, and sometimes as a late night snack. Totally healthy - greek yogurt is naturally low in fat and high in protein, the granola was low fat with almonds and blueberries are like nature's superfood. But over the past week the blueberries have left all the grocery stores. A couple weeks ago Trader Joe's was out of my low fat almond granola for close to a week. And I went to Trader Joe's today and they don't have their large tubs of greek yogurt anymore, now they only have individual sizes with blueberries or honey already in them. So I've got to buy the Fage yogurt which is $2 more. And I'm totally jonesing for fresh blueberries and lamenting having to wait nine months to taste one again. Not to get off on a tangent but I think this is why I like the show Monk so much. I probably have OCD, I definitely have anxiety, and although I'm not a brilliant detective the way Monk is, well he's lovable in spite of his quirks, in many ways they're what make him so great as a dectective. So my blueberry withdrawal notwithstanding, hopefully my quirks endear me to some troubled souls, like my hubby and close friends, and I'm hoping my constant worrying/perfectionistic tendencies will actually help me in certain ways with the nursing field. God knows I'll be conscientious. Does anyone know if frozen blueberries are a reasonable fascimile of fresh?

first day of school

To get into the real excitement of that title for this post you have to say it like Nemo does in the beginning of Finding Nemo, at least that how I kept hearing it in my head. I was as excited as the kids. Freedom! Does this make me a bad mother that I was so elated to pass my children off? But they're happy. Owen kept saying how his first grade teacher was the best and the music teacher was the best, there were a lot of people that were the best to Owen today. How great is that? Oh if we could only bottle that sweet enthusiasm of youth, it could change the world. Well I'll cut this short I want to listen to Obama, who I pray gets elected, so we can start making some positive, much needed changes in America.

ye sunday well spent

I will probably have to cut down my blog writing to once a week as I'm already overwhelmed with work for my classes but, for now, I'm going to procrastinate on the terribly dry reading in my pharmacology book and post pictures of our trip to the renaissance fair yesterday. It was Oona's and my first time and wow, what a lot of creative anachronism going on. The day was beautiful, sunny and warm, probably too warm for all the people in costumes. Definitely too warm for the poor guys dressed in armor jousting, I had sympathy hot flashes justing looking at them, from my perch in the shade, under a wide brimmed straw hat. We all had a great time though. I loved watching how Owen and Oona reacted to the people dressed up in costumes speaking olde english - speaking that way all day might be harder than wearing the armor. The vendors and people who worked there were so nice, especially to the kids. One woman gave Oona a big blue gem and a bottle of fairy dust to make wishes with. Others would give them gold coins and mermaid tears (pale blue glass beads). At one point a guy shouted at us to watch for the pirates behind us, because Oona and Owen had received pirate hats from a lady, but Oona panicked and clung to my leg thinking there was some monster on our path.

We started the day off with some face painting, on the arm. This lady was very friendly. When we asked where she was staying she had a camper that she slept in off the grounds. From what she was saying it sounds like these creative reenactment people can get pretty crazy with the partying once evening comes. What could be worse than being hungover in the blazing sun than to be hungover and wearing a bunch of velour and metal in the blazing sun.

When Toby was talking about the fair before we left, trying to rouse up enthusiasm in Oona she talked about seeing knights and horses and unicorns. Toby said he wasn't sure if they'd have a unicorn but, lo and behold, Oona met Periwinkle the official unicorn of the fair. That picture is followed by a touching father son portrait. Put it in a frame and it will be the perfect Christmas gift for the in-laws;)

You've heard of the headless horseman but you might not heard of the less famous yet still terrifying headless horse that Sir Owen is bravely riding. Think the fair might want to shell out a few bucks and spring for a horse that isn't decapitated. This one of Oona looking like Joan of Arc cracks me up. She'd be a perfect Joan of Arc, aside from not being catholic and I prefer she not be executed.

When Owen looks at this picture he says 'kill the queen! kill the queen!' Thank God that school starts for him on Thursday. The way the two of them have been picking at each other the last couple of weeks I'm ready to throw them both in a dungeon for a day or two. Oh, the whining the screaming, you know it's bad when I suggest we put the Little People: Best Animal Songs in the CD player while driving for a little peace. Believe me, you've got to be desperate to resort to that CD for a break.

first day of school

Today was Oona's first day of preschool and she was so excited. She wants to do everything her brother does and she was really looking forward to being a big girl and going to her very own school and her first official day didn't disappoint. I have her attending a preschool at CCAC (the community college where I'm taking two classes) and she'll start another LEAP program offered through the public schools in a couple weeks. My son did a similiar program through DART a couple years ago. They have a certain ratio of special needs children and typical children in the class together, along with a teacher, occupational therapist and speech therapist. I loved the DART program, Owen had so much fun there. And Toby and I really wanted Oona to have a similar experience so I was so excited to find out they'd have this LEAP preschool meeting at a location right near Owen's school and starting 15 minutes after Owen's school starts - perfect, and it's free! I just started my first week of classes so I'm still a bit discombobulated, wondering if I'll be able to pull all this off. I've got to make sure Owen and Oona eat well and take their vitamins, if they get sick while I'm supposed to be in class it could all fall apart. But so far so good. Oona had an accident at school today, she told the teacher that she really liked the cute little potties but that she couldn't go without her mommy. Hopefully she'll adjust to peeing without me within a week or two.

I'm really excited about my classes (Anatomy & Physiology 2 and Pharmacology) for a former english major science is like a whole new world, which I love. Could I be more of a dork? The last class I took, Anatomy & Physiology 1, was 3 years ago, when I was pregnant and puking with Oona. Hopefully I won't have any similar challenges with these two classes. If all goes well I'll apply to Duquesne's accelerated nursing program in January and if I get accepted I'll start next August. I still have two more classes to take next term (Microbiology and Statistics anyone?) but I'm really looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life. I'd like to get involved with psychiatric nursing, possibly specializing with children or geriatric patients within psychiatric nursing. I'll need a masters but I've learned that there are psychiatric nurse practitioners who can meet with patients and prescribe medicine much in the way psychiatrists do. It's so cool! Once I learned about that I can't stop thinking about how much I would love that job since I want to help people, understand the stigma attached to mental illness and medication for mental illness, and I love reading about the science connected to mental health and the mind. The only concern I have with that particular field is that I might have to botox between my eyebrows because I constantly furrow my brow and people frequently misinterpret this as a negative (one clerk at Blockbuster told me I looked disgusted when I was merely thinking wow, he's having a real tough time getting his key back on his key ring) when it's really just that hamster in my head, spinning in his wheel. Wish me luck:)

setting limits with your strong-willed child

I've read two books only worthy of two and a half plums back to back. Ugh, it's like the cerebral equivalent of eating a rice cake. Yes, this book has very practical, sound advice on how to deal with strong-willed children and repeatedly tells parents of strong-willed children that they need to be prepared for their children learning the 'hard way'. Yes, Owen is a horrible whiner, but aside from that, he's really pretty compliant and didn't prepare me for the force of nature that is Oona. This book is big into time outs which I agree can be an effective method of discipline. But the book doesn't tell you what to do when your daughter protests the time out in her room by peeing all over her rug, or her bed sheets, or her stuffed animals. This book talks about enforcing time outs when kids act up while driving, by pulling the car off the road and sitting there in silence with your children for five minutes. Not real practical if you're driving somewhere that you need to be by a specific time. And the author mentions enforcing a time out while out shopping by asking a store clerk (in this book they pop up right when you need them) to watch your cart while you take your child outside to the car for a time out. I can see that going over very well when you're in a long line at the grocery store. But the book is helpful in pointing out the dance parents can get in with children over discipline and that it's best to cut right to the chase and say in an unemotional voice 'I told you not to do (fill in the blank), you can go to your room for five minutes'. I think trying your hardest not to get emotionally caught up in the dance of words with your child is great advice. That and to apologize when you mess up, which I do, a lot. Be direct, firm yet respectful and realize your 'strong-willed' child needs to learn the hard way. Heaven help me!

the grey dress

Yes, I am vain enough to crop out my legs because they just aren't looking up to snuff in this photo. I was wearing this dress on Wednesday when I went to visit my Grandma. I came bearing nine boxes of 3 ply kleenex because my Grandma needs a kleenex with weight to it and she goes through them the way my kids go through gummies. Now I usually look very casual when I see her, baggy jeans and a shapeless shirt - you get the idea. Well, I came in this $22 dress I just got from Target (I love empire waist dresses and shirts, they make boobs looks so perky, even ones that have been worn out from nursing) and my Grandma kept going on and on about how lovely I looked in it and what a nice figure I have. Normally I'm like teflon when it comes to compliments, I find it very hard to take in, but when you're dealing with someone with dementia giving you a compliment, well they keep repeating it again and again until it finally sinks in. God bless that woman, she is the kindest soul. It breaks my heart to see her cognitive decline but when she smiles when I come in or I bring Oona, she's so darn appreciative of the littlest things. As hard as it is to see her failing bit by bit I am so thankful that she moved out to Pittsburgh and that I've been able to reestablish a close relationship with her again.

couldn't leave well enough alone

I'm a secular flagellant. At least that's what I believe my unhealthy obsession with stripping furniture is like. I don't even know why I keep doing stuff like this. My masochistic streak runs deep I guess. This dresser used to be in Owen's bedroom then got moved down to the kitchen when my mom gave us her old dresser for Owen (I changed the hardware on that one and it's amazing what a difference that can make). So this dresser is fine, utilitarian, helps control the sprawling mess in our ill-designed, I don't know if you could even say it was actually designed, kitchen. But the chipping paint from where the coffemaker sits has been driving me batty. And I've been questioning why I had Toby change the hardware from pulls to knobs, I'll blame it pregnancy - Owen was gestating during a long hot summer.

I've gotten the paint off of two drawers so far and removed the faux wood grain but instead of wood on the recatangular face of the drawer there's a thing melamine type of layer underneath and then wood under that (the edges are wood and sanded down now. So do I try and strip off the melamine or quit now put sandable primer on it and paint it a nice dove gray type of color?

Oh and just so you know, I'm already contemplating buying another dresser (solid wood) painted a horrible purple color for $29.99. If I strip it it will be a really nice piece and it has great legs, much better than this dresser. And I keep wanting to strip the doors on our second and third floor as well, they've got a faux wood grain painted on them but are probably pine underneath.

what do you think?
1. you've got Peel Away oozing out of your pores. your were made to strip every piece of wood that's painted/stained poorly. take it all on
2. buy the purple dresser but do not strip 8 doors, you'd be crazy to take that on.
3. you remind me of that guy in The DaVinci Code, the one with the metal cilice on his thigh except your cilice must be made of steel wool and stripper