setting limits with your strong-willed child

I've read two books only worthy of two and a half plums back to back. Ugh, it's like the cerebral equivalent of eating a rice cake. Yes, this book has very practical, sound advice on how to deal with strong-willed children and repeatedly tells parents of strong-willed children that they need to be prepared for their children learning the 'hard way'. Yes, Owen is a horrible whiner, but aside from that, he's really pretty compliant and didn't prepare me for the force of nature that is Oona. This book is big into time outs which I agree can be an effective method of discipline. But the book doesn't tell you what to do when your daughter protests the time out in her room by peeing all over her rug, or her bed sheets, or her stuffed animals. This book talks about enforcing time outs when kids act up while driving, by pulling the car off the road and sitting there in silence with your children for five minutes. Not real practical if you're driving somewhere that you need to be by a specific time. And the author mentions enforcing a time out while out shopping by asking a store clerk (in this book they pop up right when you need them) to watch your cart while you take your child outside to the car for a time out. I can see that going over very well when you're in a long line at the grocery store. But the book is helpful in pointing out the dance parents can get in with children over discipline and that it's best to cut right to the chase and say in an unemotional voice 'I told you not to do (fill in the blank), you can go to your room for five minutes'. I think trying your hardest not to get emotionally caught up in the dance of words with your child is great advice. That and to apologize when you mess up, which I do, a lot. Be direct, firm yet respectful and realize your 'strong-willed' child needs to learn the hard way. Heaven help me!