the tiny tyrant

Uncle! I admit it, Oona has a much stronger personality than me. I'm quite sure she'll go very far in life with all her moxie and determination and such a sweet little face too, but damn! trying to raise a child that's so strong willed really kicks my ass some days. Oh, and is she ever manipulative. I once met a Mom who refused to believe her 5 year old son could be manipulative, didn't think it was possible at that young an age. Meanwhile for the past, oh year or so, Oona has mastered the art smiling sweetly, batting her eyelashes and giving just enough attention to someone in order to get her way. I don't think it's a bad thing, but I'm not in denial, I've seen her withhold affection and throw epic tantrums if she doesn't get her way. Over the past month she has brought her screaming to a new level for ear pain, she reminds me of those fell beasts that screeched in the air while carrying the nazguls in Lord of the Rings. She even has an ever so slight dragon tongue, a tiny little cleft in the middle. Who knows maybe she is part dragon or fell beast, she is surely one tough little cookie. Nancy sent me a great link for children's tees, particular favorites are puerile and dilatory. I thought maybe I could make a bunch of my own with freezer paper stencils - obstreperous, tyrant, ebullient, soporific you can have a lot of fun with 'fancy' words describing your child or the effect your child has on you.

Oh and one FYI - I finally figured out what caused Oona's rash on her face! If Philly whipped cream cheese sat on her face at all, it gave her a rash. What the hell are they putting in that stuff to give her a rash? Other cream cheeses don't have the same effect, it's very bizarre and strengthens my resolve to feed the kids whole/organic/unprocessed food as much as I can. If only they could lower the price on organic blueberries. Plus for all you Moms putting sunscreen on your kids, and yourself, I highly recommend you check out this site for info on how safe your sunscreen is, pretty scary to see what some of the chemicals in kids sunscreens have the potential to do.

No one belongs here more than you

I had high expectations about this book, I loved ‘Me and You and Everyone we know’ thought that movie was such a lovely, uplifting surprise. I’ve had some bad experiences with art films one salient example was a puppet/claymation version of Faust that was the visual equivalent of shoving bamboo sticks under my fingernails. I read one of the short stories in this book, The swim team, in Harper’s and loved that story. People were mentioning her and Lorrie Moore, one of my favorite (top five) writers, in the same sentence, saying Miranda July had a similar style of combining humor and pathos. Oh, I was so primed to crack open this book in the lurid eightiesesque hot pink cover and revel in all that it was. Have to say I was a bit disappointed. There are a couple stories that I thought were very strong – The Swim Team and Something that Needs Nothing. There are others with glimpses of brilliant observation but they’re not fully realized. In some ways this book seems immature. Maybe (probably) I’ve become much harder to please now that I have two kids, am constantly exhausted and don’t have much, or let’s just come out with it and say any, social life. And the sex stuff, ugh, I know it’s meant to be dark or embarrassing or alienating to convey the feeling of the character or plot or blah blah blah. I for the most part hate sex stuff in books because it almost always comes across as cringe worthy or feels gratuitous and there are very very few writers who can write about sex well. At times I felt like this was a horny, poor man’s Lorrie Moore book. BUT, big but, I think if Miranda July made a film about any or all of these stories they’d probably come across brilliantly. I just think I need to see this on film for it to come across effectively, but because of the potential and two great stories I'll give it 3 plums.

yummm

I've had a culinary epiphany in the past week! I discovered Fage and reawakened my love for plain Greek yogurt. I am not typically a yogurt person, it just doesn't appeal to me try as I might to embrace something so healthy, probiotic and good for me. Years ago (1991!) I went to Greece with my college roomie for three weeks after college graduation and fell in love with the plain yogurt over there which was so creamy and sinfully good. But after one mouthful of Dannon plain yogurt, on arriving home, I gave up on finding good yogurt in America. Still something lured me back to yogurt last week, all the healthy probiotics in them that are supposed to aid GI troubles I guess. I came upon Fage which advertised that it has the thick yummy goodness that I remembered sampling in Paros and it didn't disappoint. It also has a lot more protein than regular yogurt. So now I'm on a daily yogurt kick - eating plain yogurt and fresh strawberries I don't even recognize this former muffin junkie?!

Scary FYI that I received from Ideal Bite 'Yoplait's strawberry yogurt gets its pink color from crushed female cochineal beetles and their eggs.' Yuck!

owie stardust

Owen has entered the glam rock stage at the ripe young age of four. I don't know how this fascination with makeup started, maybe by watching my Mom put on her 'face' at the dining table when she visits us. It sure isn't from me, as anyone who knows me well can attest. I'm makeup free for better or worse. A couple weeks ago he mentioned wanting makeup and I said 'yeah, sure' and thought no more of it until I picked him up from the Eagle's Nest at our grocery store (so wonderful that they have a daycare area for 3 to 9 year olds because when Owen shops with me he is KING of the impulse buy) and told him I got him a surprise to which he excitedly shouted 'Makeup?!' and when I told him no popsicles he actually got upset. So a few days later I bought him a couple eye shadows and a blush and unearthed a colored lip balm that's been rolling around in the bathroom drawer for a couple years now. As you can see the finished result was priceless. My neighbor said she'd be more concerned about the whole makeup thing if he had actually put it on appropriately. He's four, makeup is colorful and sparkly, I'm not too worried about any gender confusion/sexual orientation issues. I save my worries for the all encompassing kid safety stuff.

the children of men

I love books by PD James. She almost feels like an old friend to me, I've been reading her books since college. In a way I feel like she's a guilty pleasure that I indulge in because she writes mysteries. But her books can be quite literary, thoughtful and very English, so I guess I shouldn't feel all that guilty about reading them. I think most people that like her are probably 20 years older than me, watch PBS and Law & Order and listen to NPR on a regular basis - could be totally off base on this one but it's just a feeling I get about her fan base. This book is different than her 'Adam Dalgliesh' mysteries. I saw the movie first, usually a 'no no' but the movie and book are very different except for their dystopic view of a literally barren future. I enjoyed both the book and the movie, the book definitely goes into more detail and there are a lot of ethical questions raised which can be quite thought provoking. But I'm a fan of the movie too. It was directed by Alfonso Cuaron, who also directed 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' which is one of the better Harry Potter films, and it's got Clive Owen in it, a ruggedly handsome manly man. Read the book or see the movie or do both, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

crisis averted

My self inflicted torture in order to ease my driving/kid safety related anxiety was put on hold this weekend. In other words Toby and the kids stayed home. It wound up being a really enjoyable weekend. We went to Phipps Conservatory on Saturday and Oona & I had never been before. That place is amazing! I think I'll have to make regular trips over there this coming winter when it so cold and colorless outside. I felt healthier just strolling around inhaling the plant-healthy air. We had a cookout that night and then today we went to a couple open houses - I know this won't make sense to those of you on the East coast but out here it seems that the larger homes for your money are in the city, crazy huh? Let me tell you house hunting with a screaming 20 month old is priceless. Below are some pics from Phipps.

A very cool tree trunk, crazy leopard-like orchids and Owen in the butterfly room. If you enlarge the picture of Owen you will see his scar, the result of unsupervised play at a friend's house. I went against my better judgement and let him play in his friends room with some other children upstairs. Minutes later I heard him crying and ran up to find him bleeding. Apparently, he fell against a corner of the play table and took a chunk of skin out right above his eye. He is the most accident prone person I know, next to myself.

Oona saying 'fish' while pointing at the koi in a pond and these amazingly beautiful huge bowls from the Chihuly gardens and glass exhibit. Very pretty and very expensive. I kept thinking that I might trip and somehow knock one off the stand - this would be next to impossible and would require pretty severe projectile tripping on my part, but I think I'm capable of it. My God if tiny bowls he made were selling for five grand in the gift shop how much must these be worth?!

freaking out

I realize this might be a bit hard to see from the computer but I fed Oona a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese today and after cleaning up her face this rash is what I found. A few days ago I gave her an everything bagel with cream cheese and she developed a similiar rash right after eating it, although the rash wasn't as large. I don't know what is going on, whether it's the cream cheese or the bagel that's causing this allergy like reaction. I initially tought the sesame on the everything bagel might have triggered the rash so I gave her cinnamin raisin but it obviously isn't the sesame. She's had bagels with cream cheese before without a reaction and she eats other bread and dairy products without getting a rash. This is torture to me because Toby's taking the kids to his parents tomorrow for the weekend. It will give me time to do some major cleaning and decluttering in this house that's desperately in need of such help (we're planning to put it on the market next spring) BUT I'm in a panic about the kids. Truth is I never really like them visiting there because I'm a major worrier and they live in a rural part of central Pennsylvania where the nearest hospital is 20 miles away and it's not exactly a state of the art medical center. I imagine Oona being fed something and going into anaphylactic shock and if that happens out there they might as well drive her to the funeral home over the hospital because by the time they get to town she'd be dead. Agh! And they're going to a graduation party at Aunt Karen's where there are open stairways to the basement and second floor and Oona still can't go down stairs by herself. Oh and Aunt Karen's has a trampoline where clumsy Owen could easily maim or kill himself. This is such torture for me but part of therapy for someone with anxiety issues is to, in essence, basically torture one's self and expose yourself to the very things you worry about again and again until the worry loses its power - sounds fun doesn't it?! The thing is, I worry about driving and my children's health and safety which are huge sort of omnipresent things in my life, so it's like in order to function I have to constantly torture myself. Here's hoping the weekend is over and my kids are back home, safe and sound, before I know it. Hope your weekend is more enjoyable than mine.

pretty. impractical. peony.

I love peonies. I think they're such pretty flowers with their large heads and almost papery petals. We have two peony plants in our back yard and while I love the flowers these plants produce I think the plant doesn't make much sense. As soon as the flowers bloom all the stems hang down on the ground, like the flower weighs too much or maybe the plant can't deal with that much beauty. It just seems like some botanist would have found a way to breed these plants so that doesn't happen. Oh and three days after the flower blooms all the petals start dropping off, so you can maybe enjoy your flowers for two days tops. Maybe this is just an issue with our particular plants (God help anyone planning to put these in a bridal bouquet if that's not the case) we could have a couple peony plants with huge 'failure to thrive' issues, I don't know. I cut off all the flowers last night with Owen's assistance. He kept saving flowers to bring to his friends at school. When we were done I said that maybe it would be best if we put some flowers in a jar and Owen brought the bouquet in for the whole class to enjoy, that way nobody would have hurt feelings if they didn't get a flower. He thought that was a good idea and Toby brought him to school with his peony bouquet in a jar, petals dropping off with each step he took. Oh well, it sounds like his teacher handled receiving a bunch of flowers past their prime well.

on beauty

I liked this book a great deal. It was a highly engrossing read with wonderful characters that leap right off the pages, they're so refreshing and lively. In some ways this book reminds me of 'Tar Baby' which I read back in college (close to twenty years ago - gulp!), which also examined race/class issues, not only between blacks and whites, but racial issues within the black community. This book also deals with the minefield of intellectual elitism and all the tawdry crap that transpires at esteemed institutions of higher learning. Yes, that will have you turning the pages at a brisk pace, believe me! The only reason I gave the book four plums instead of five is that the end wasn't entirely satisfying to me and the book didn't resonate for me the way Atonement did, I still have a soft spot for that book! But I would recommend this book, it's enjoyable and thought provoking.

the vampiric bibliophile

We still haven't received our new chair yet, as you can see. Floral with wood accents - yum! Our living room is so close to being 'finished' but not quite. The other day Oona took every available book on her shelf (we've cleared the built in bookshelves of our books except where she can't reach them) threw them on the chair and hopped up to ready. This was a rare, unpredictable moment of calm. She is such the personality opposite of Owen it's amazing. She's a dear little girl but quite a handful and prone to tantrums if she doesn't get here way. For all her wants she screams, 'Mommy' louder and lourder until she gets what she wants or she devolves into tears and flailing. And I'm with her all day every day and she's sucking the life right out of me at this point in her development. I went to bed at 9:30 last night, woke up at 7:30 and was still tired. My body has reached some critical point because I ache in various places all the time and last week I tore my rotator cuff trying to push Oona's damn stroller with the bald tires and locked right front wheel. It's time for a new stroller but I push on with this four year old contraption, stooping over to position the wheel with my hands, it's akin to pushing Oona in a shopping cart with a bad wheel - fun right?! Elise's recommendation of Dr. Sarno's book is next on my list but I'm already worried about what I do if I read it and I'm still in pain? I feel like I tend to fail at epiphanies - therapy, medication, life altering forums or life changing books. This morning I schlepped two huge laundry baskets full of old baby clothes to a consignment store in Squirrel Hill. I had taken them weeks before but they had a sign saying they wouldn't be taking anything until after May 16th. So this was my first chance to get there. I park right near the store, put money in the toll, drag out the baskets and put them near the door, run back to get Oona out of the car and go in to ask the sales lady for help bringing them in. The saleslady is talking on the phone while walking around the store. She's eastern european, at least I'm pretty sure of that. She's must speak some slavic language because she has an accent that I notice alot among slavs, flat and somewhat sexy sounding, at least compared to my accent. She wears short shorts that show off amazing legs that you can just tell do not require any trips to the gym, it's the dumb luck of genetics, and she has a headful of blonde pre-raphelite curls. I ask for help when she looks at me, covering the mouthpiece of the phone. She walks out with Oona and I to the door where the baskets are and looks in one briefly before saying 'You been to another store with these? There's stickers on them.' I see no stickers but say that I was at a store with some of the clothes well over a month ago. She then refuses to see my stuff telling me 'It's not fair, they already picked out the best stuff.' I'm getting angrier and more frustrated over being told I'm unfair with a consignment store. 'There's stuff that's never even been worn' I tell her. 'Half of one basket is stuff that's already been seen, I've put in a bunch of new stuff that's never been looked at.' She just shakes her head at me, and starts redialing her friend on the phone while turning back into the store. This is one of those critical, insignificant moments where I just start crying because I'm so frustrated by this lady telling me I'm not being fair, and it takes so much effort to schlep these baskets with a kid and it's all so pointless since I'd be lucky to get $20 for the stuff. Life's too short to feel bad and I feel worse and worse lately.

new living room

After a long winter spent doing a ton of photo retouching work we finally got our new living room furniture, except for the armchair which has yet to even ship! I would have liked to ceremoniously set fire to the old sofa and chair but Toby has a friend moving into a new home who actually might take the pieces, which seems much more environmentally friendly. Unfortunately the binding on our rug is already coming apart (Pottery Barn says it must be defective and has already sent us a replacement) and there's a stitching problem with the slipcover so we're supposed to receive a new slipcover within a month. In the meantime I have to make sure the kids and cats don't have any accidents on the slipcover that would affect our returning it a month from now. I think the colors of the sofa and rug look nice together that they both go with the wall color, wasn't quite sure if everything would gel together properly. Overall, I'm happy with our purchases, I'd just liek the stuff we'll be keeping. And the one thing I'm bummed about is having to endure the nauseating bouquet of VOCs coming off of the new slipcover. Within an hour my excitement of having a new couch turned to extreme nausea over the fumes that sage velvet slipcover was emitting. I think my two pregnancies have given me a bloodhound's nose because I'm extremely smell sensitive. I can't handle the odors of mainstream cleaners anymore, not even Ivory dish soap. The Ecover marigold and chamomile dish soap is so yummy smelling! It doesn't cut grease quite as efficiently as petroleum based dish soaps but the smell and benefit to the planet make up for it. Happy Memorial Day everybody!

atonement

I finished Atonement over the weekend and was blown away by it. It's been some time since I've had a chance to read much of anything, aside from magazines, but I still can't get over how good a novel it was. I was so sad to finish this book it was that impressive. They've made a movie of it which should be out some time soon. Please, I'm begging you, read the book before seeing the movie. You'll be so glad you did. I had to take a breather before starting another book because Atonement just walloped me but now I'm deeply engulfed in Zadie Smith's latest which is incredibly good and I'm just gobsmacked (I'm on an English writer kick so the word seems appropriate) by the fact that she's written three incredibly well received novels and she's all of 32. But back to Atonement, I'm going to have to read all of Ian McEwan's work now, his early works which I read years ago (my God well over ten years ago - I feel so old!) pale next to this novel. Go buy the book now or run to your nearest library! It receives my highest rating - five out of five plums.

a new low for humanity

Going in to check my email I saw this headline 'Climber makes first phone call from Everest summit'. Now I know this is a huge help for the safety of climbers in crisis but let's be honest, how many calls will be made due to trouble on the mountain? The ubiquity of cell phones and people talking on them everywhere is so depressing to me. Technological advances are wonderful but when they're abused - people texting while driving on the highway?! it's shameful.

uh oh

I tried to buzz Owen's hair last night with absolutely disastrous results. He threw a fit the whole time, guess he picked up something from my prolonged panic attack in the car, and I was trying to make it easier by cutting the remaining hair with scissors instead of the buzzer because I think the noise was freaking him out. But I wound up butchering his hair. It looks like I was trying to put a design in his buzz cut and failed miserably. Hopefully it will fill in within a couple weeks but in the meantime I'm praying none of the kids in his class tease him. I told him if anyone does to tell them to stop it and say it's not his fault his Mom messed up his hair. I was in tears when Toby came down shaking his head after seeing my 'work' this morning. These past few days have really taken a toll on any remote shred of confidence I had in being a good Mom.