One of my favorite parts of spring is the riotous colors of acid green baby leaves on trees with the stormy skies, it's like a color phantasmagoria. This top picture needs to be photoshopped to truly represent (by altering how odd) what it was like outside, the sky darker and more grey with the leaves bright chartreuse. The weather wasn't working with me though, pre-thunderstorm wind made the leaves blow willy-nilly making it hard to capture what I saw. I'm pretty sure when Eliot said that April was the cruelest month that he was talking to the manic depressive community. It's like nature physically expressing the mixed state of turmoil inside the bipolar mind, so charged and unsettled. I'm not bipolar but I'm pretty sure my Dad is. He never got help for his condition and could frequently be a turn on a dime person with the moods, and the outright lies, I guess delusions. Sometimes the anger and mania occur at the same time, so uncontrolled, which is very scary to witness when you're young and there's no acknowledgement that the behavior isn't normal. No wonder I have issues.
2 comments:
I am fairly certain my father was manic-depressive, and of course he was of the generation that didn't even think to seek help for that sort of thing.It took me till I was 25 to get myself to a therapist, and to realize that both his behavior and mine were not normal; I am not bipolar, but I do have issues. Thank God for better living through pharmaceuticals. : )
I don't ever want my children to have to deal with that - my dad adored us, but man, it was not fun living with his moods.
moody dad here too! love this post. poetic, deep. concise -- the acid green against stormy skies phantasmagoria - great effing word! and how you use it to illustrate an emotional state. as a dichotomous, aesthetically-minded gal, I appreciate galore!!!
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