amelia's plum

Shit on my Grandma's hands, and I'm not using that as a euphemism for sticky food residue. Her hands literally had dried brown stains on them; over the backs of her hands, the fingers, her thumb, under her nails. It made my heart sink, my fussy Grandma left like this. I was thinking surely that couldn't be what I think it is. But after wiping her off and gently sniffing, I knew it was. I called the care manager to let her know my Grandma had excrement on her hands. What? she said to me. Um, poo. She had been brought to breakfast, eaten breakfast, taken to the bathroom after breakfast, then put in her bed and still no one but me had noticed the brown stains on her hands. The hospice nurse had been there just the other day. How had no one noticed these shit stains on her hands that clearly had been there a while. But I didn't want my Grandma to find out just what was on her hands and why I was so annoyed, she kept saying her hands were fine. So I turned it into a game. I told her it was her day to be pampered. I soaked her hands in a warm, soapy washcloth then patted them dry. I got the nail kit from the care manager and removed the old polish, clipped her nails, meticulously scraped underneath each nail, inspected her cuticles and wiped them again for good measure then put a soft pink on her nails. All the while my Grandma protested about me going to so much trouble, she never stops with that. But I lulled her into abeyance telling her to relax, it's her day of pampering, in that case you better pamper this other hand too she says, then closes her eyes. This is supposed to be a good facility. They know that I visit my Grandma regularly, what happens to the people who don't have someone visiting them?

The whole debate about health care reform makes me apoplectic. We should have universal healthcare, in fact I'd socialize the proposed plan even more, allowing illegal aliens to be covered. It's totally unethical to do otherwise. These vocal idiots at the town hall meetings talking about big brother (I bet they've never read 1984) and wanting to spend money to tighten the borders?! You see an injured person in the street and if they're of questionable ethnicity are you going to ask to see their green card? It's disgusting. It's racism or, at the very least, massive xenophobia. It might seem a stretch from the poop on my Grandma's hands to healthcare reform but something needs to be done. We're going to have a ton of senior boomers and not all of them can afford quality care, like what my Grandma gets, $150 a day for that benign neglect. Walking down the hallway to visit my Grandma I passed the dining room, empty but for the leftovers from breakfast and one man asleep in his chair, slumped so far forward his head was level with the table. It torments me. I'm not her power of attorney, my mother is. This place seemed wonderful when we visited it almost three years ago. We never thought she would live this long and I never thought I'd see so much to make me so angry. My Mom doesn't want me to say anything because she fears they would take it out on Grandma. But this isn't good enough, for my Grandma, for anyone. It's not humane. They cut costs by reducing staff and I know the care managers make very little. If you're overworked and underpaid in a stressful job it's easy to go on autopilot but I think people in this vulnerable condition deserve respect. I see the same thing in hospitals. It's a big reason why I want to be a nurse- how hard is it to be kind and respectful to someone when they need help?