amelia's plum

I've been remiss. Actually I've been sucked into the quicksand that is nursing school. It's affecting my dreams, or I should say nightmares, because I have many a nightmare where I'm working in some completely unsanitary hospital trying to load and administer a heparin shot and I just can't get it right. Oh my. And I thought it was bad when I had nightmares about waitressing when I worked at a diner during my summer's home from college. I'm buoyed on by the fact I still love medicine, the more I learn the more I love it, it's endlessly fascinating to me. My patients are so wonderful. I don't really consider myself a people person because I'm sorta introverted by nature and can get painfully awkward trying to make small talk with people. On a side note someone I see all the time at my gym but never talk to given my shyness was in this small computer room with me just last week and I wanted to disappear that's how bad my shyness is, especially when this guy sees me sweat profusely in clothes that leave little to the imagination. But he actually came up and introduced himself and was really nice, which restored my faith in physicians. I being an idiot and caffeine deprived (never good to go from 5 am to 11 am without coffee) asked him nothing about himself and wound up kicking myself for being such a social idiot as soon as he left. But back to my patients. The patients I've had reaffirm my belief that most people are inherently good and kind and that they reaffirm this belief in me while they are in a position of physical vulnerability, I am indebted to them for what they teach me. My favorite patient so far, I had her a couple of weeks ago. She had a name as inspirational as her outlook on life. This woman had been through a medical nightmare and yet she was so well adjusted and emotionally sound it was dumbfounding to me. She was a retired teacher though and it came through in the how kind she was with me. At one point she commented on my photo ID being a nice picture of me (remember the drama I went through for that picture) and then she's like, 'It looks like you've lost weight.' I started saying no but I guess I have, the stress is wrecking havoc on my body, my hair, my face (I'm aiming for fixing my face with graduation, passing NCLEX and a job in hand). She was funny and smart and gentle and when I work with patients like her I'm so grateful for this career I'm choosing. I just tend to get very hard on myself for any mistake I make because, well peoples lives are on the line. But this woman told me as I was finishing my shift that I was going to make a heck of a nurse and I felt like the grinch when his heart swelled to three sizes to big. It made me feel like all the hair off my head and on the floor might be worth it in the long run.

So yeah, these pictures have nothing to do with nursing. I had the kids on sunday and wanted to take them to a wave pool but got horribly lost for an hour and a half, wound up bawling and settled for Beechwood farms which I know how to get to. It was a pretty day though and I got to take some pictures of them, it's been too long.

I'm in love with my daughter's profile

okay I've got to admit I get very neurotic when I see feathers in kids hands, especially my kids hands, when I think of where that feather has been, like on the avian ass of a carrier of a potential killer strain of influenza. Lots of speculative ofs in that sentence. Even if that's not the case it was probably lying in goose scat moments before.


I don't know what has happened to the bottom half of my face but I want it to stop NOW. I tried to crop myself out of the picture, because Owen and Oona look so cute in it, but it looked too odd cropped.



This picture was a happy accident but I liked how it looked like evening when it was the reflection in the water.