yikes

I'm into my second day of nursing school and already have a headache, but I think this is more due to the pillow I slept on last night. Trying to adjust to the new routine, up early, drop the kids off, in school a really long time (oh those lectures are killing me to sit still that long, I'm jiggling my legs constantly and I'm right up front. the teachers must want to kill me, the mature student acting like a teenager) Yes, that's right, I'm 99% sure that I'm the oldest student in the class. But I don't know that my age brings any wisdom and I'm probably more insecure than half the students there, I constantly overanalyze and doubt myself. Well I'm going to be so busy that might fall by the wayside due to sheer exhaustion. I should also take a picture of myself now and at graduation to see just how gray my hair goes in the next 18 months. Well, I'm not going to be able to write as many posts but I'm going to bring my camera with me and try to put pictures up, it will force me to get outside and walk which I really need to do during those brief breaks in lecture. Still I'm really excited about learning all this information I'm such a geek when it comes to medicine and learn the skills necessary for nursing (I just hope I'm one of those nurses that can give shots and put IVs in without hurting the patient, we all know those nurses that can leave you battered and bruised from a simple blood test. Please God let that not be me!) Wish me luck, say a prayer, send a good vibe my way. I can use all the help I can get.

snowgate

I haven't taken any pictures of this epic week of snow. I think it's my way of trying to make it all go away but fat flakes continue to fall. Yesterday it snowed in every state but Hawaii, if that isn't a sign that the end of days are near what is. I guess another sign might be replaying the tragic video footage of the Georgian luger, Nodar Kumaritashvili, again and again and again on the news. I find the constant replay of footage like this and other visually disturbing images so horrific. It seems to remove the humanity from the victim. That is someone's child, brother, boyfriend, friend. Who'd want to see a loved ones death replayed ad nauseam in some sensational attempt to what, inure the public by the constant repetition of tragedy?

But I digress from my whole point of this post, to whine about the weather and having children home from school all week and to complain about facebook comments. There should be some sort of unspoken etiquette that if you don't really talk to a 'friend' all that often, or even email them for that matter, you should probably refrain from leaving sanctimonious comments to someone's post. I don't even go on facebook that much anymore, aside from noting the statuses of the other parents of my kids school or to see if anyone is planning sledding or something like that. So... I put a comment down about being so sad to see snow continuing to fall because Pittsburgh's handling of all this snow has been horrible at best, thus the snowgate title which I'd like to trademark. Our young mayor totally dropped the ball, it took forever to get the city streets to a point where they were drivable while people in the suburbs were able to get around without a problem. I understand that it's difficult; city streets can be narrow and people park their cars on the street instead of in a driveway or garage but the mayor really bungled the whole handling of this snowmaggedon event. But I'm getting off track again... so I put the comment about being upset with the snow continuing to fall because some days it was too cold to take the kids outside and damn I just find it hard to think of entertaining things to do when cooped up in a house so long. But a 'friend' whom I haven't talked to in years and haven't even emailed for months writes 'it's snow, it will melt. take the kids sledding.' How is that helpful? And because this friend is a man, this will seem terribly sexist, but it annoys me even more. He is not a stay at home Dad so I don't think he gets it. And then that gets me thinking how it drives me crazy when you come across parents who are so outwardly demonstrative about how much they love parenting and spending time with their children but, ironically, these are usually the types that spend very little time with their children. I don't know, maybe it's the schism between working parents and those who stay at home. Maybe the comments are perpetuated by guilt that they don't get to spend enough time with their children. Or maybe the truly feel that way since the time with their children is so short they focus on making the best of it. Maybe I'm just a reactionary to this 'every moment is a joy' sunshine and rainbows type of parenting. I mean you can be happy about parenting, don't get me wrong, but when all you do is say positive things and never complain or admit that it can also be really hard I just wind up thinking you're either full of shit or a Stepford parent. Gosh, it would probably be easier to just admit that I can be an outright judgmental shrew at times, no?

So I'll leave you with pictures of Oona's room, three pillows, bedspread and curtain down. Just two more square pillows to finish and I might get another long rectangular one too.
the room has a red glow when you draw the curtain, perhaps not the best thing for a high spirited girl but the curtain is usually only drawn at night.

she has a verrrry small room. she's got the bare minimum in this room. the curtain fabric is hard to see. it's two prints, for the front and back, of tiny flowers that matches the bolder prints on the pillows, very cute and spirited, like Oona.

I got her the indian style banner(?) to hang above her bed back in the fall, gave it to her for christmas and finally got around to hanging it up today. progress!

Lucky me! Water seeping in and yet more cracks in oona's ceiling thanks to all the snow. So it looks like I'll be dipping into my home line of credit yet again to fix this come spring.

Close up of the bedspread, with flannel on one side and the pink dotted velour scrumptiousness on the other it's a tactile wonder of a bedspread.

cabin fever

Oh my. Well anyone between Chicago and New York, Boston to DC knows of the hellacious week that has been snowmaggedon. Now I am very fortunate in that I do have power in my home, when over 37,000 in Pittsburgh don't and haven't had electricity since Saturday! I'm also incredibly fortunate in that I don't need to be somewhere workwise, like I'm not losing income because I bartend, like my neighbor, or waitress or do anything else where my income is dependent upon being someplace during the past 4 days. But it is insane that this city, I know it's small compared to some but it is a city, seems to have completely botched cleaning the streets, especially given that more snow is falling now and by thursday we're supposed to have another 6 inches. I'm 95% certain the Owen and Oona will not be going to school at all this week. And if I am trapped at home much longer I'll be crazy, stupid and, most likely, psychotic.

Today I had the kids do a scavenger hunt up in their bedrooms, which quickly devolved into tears and screaming from both which led me to holler upstairs that I'd never orchestrate another scavenger hunt again. They stuck a bunch of oona's barrettes in my hair and had me do a fashion show for them. Then they both did a fashion show (the catwalk being the completely toy cluttered path from the kitchen to the living room) for me where they dressed up like cowboys, which consisted of using my cloth napkins for bandanas and my sun hats for cowboy hats. Let's see, a lot of tv watching and eating of junk food has occurred throughout the day, well really since this snow all started, but what can I do? Please, other snowbound moms, tell me you're doing the same. We do go outside, to play or walk to the Rite Aid (what would Morningside do without this store, which has been a beacon in this awful weather even if they totally price gouge when it comes to cat food) but there have been times when I've asked the kids to go out and they both protest saying it's too cold and they want to stay inside.

At least my house is thankful for my being snowbound. I have done an awful lot of those projects that I had lying around the house for months. Lots of sewing projects, which I always put off since it's such a pain in the ass to spread everything out to measure and pin. Sewing doesn't take much time but the prep work before sewing is very tedious. So now Oona has a proper bedspread, curtains and I'm going to whip up a bunch of pillows for her after this post is written (photos to follow). With her antique bed frame there is a large gap between her matress and the wall, which has been stuffed with a queen sized comforter rolled up and wedged in the gap. I've only been meaning to do something prettier for about a year now. But, in my defense, I've only had the fabric since September.

Owen takes himself so seriously with these fashion shows. I love his earnestness even if I laugh at it, essentially it's like laughing at myself because I'm just like him when it comes to trying too hard and being earnest.
I can't resist the sweetness of a knock kneed girl. The little legs kill me.

patternmania

Yes, I let Oona dress herself and the girl has a mad sense of style. This pattern resplendent outfit is her go to top choice for dress down days at school. One would think it hard to add any more pattern to this ensemble but she does top it off with a camoflauge bomber hat. I'm wondering if all the colors and pulsating flowers could trigger a seizure in an at risk individual. Even when she has to put on her uniform she adds her own special panache to it. Last week she put on her madeline-esque blue dress uniform with pink leggings (covered in different colored polka dots) and a ruffled pink mini skirt with plaid stripes in white and purple. The skirt was a bit like a petticoat, bumping out the lower half of her dress and giving a slight peek at the pink ruffles underneath. I'm so in awe of her utter fearlessness with the way she approaches sartorial choices and life for that matter. Oona's motto could be I'm a girly girl, I love pink, hear me roar, quite literally with the roar part. The other day she told me she wants to be a tyrannosaurus rex if she could choose to be any dinosaur, because that way, in her words, she could run around roaring all the time. But she told me not to worry, that she would put me on her back when she ran around roaring and scaring people. That she would protect me because that's the kind of person she is.

Fierce as she can be she'll give a loved one whatever they want, toy, food, last piece of candy, without a second thought and she gets very upset if anyone she loves gets hurt or even appears to be getting hurt, she burrowed her head in my arm very upset when I had to get blood drawn for a life insurance policy. Don't even get me started, oh it's too late, I've started...they're charging me a lot (standard rate instead or premium elite) because I take medication, for my anxiety, which god knows how bad I'd be if I didn't take it given my propensity for words like, cry, breakdown, stress, fear, worry... It is completely insane given my overall health, my cholesterol is so good the good cholesterol is out of range it's so high and the bad one is out of range it's so low. my triglycerides are 37 and if a doctor hears that they're amazed. I think the only way I could have a heart attack is if I get scared to death, which if I haven't already what with my worrying I think I'm in the clear. It seems rather discriminatory given that a lot of the nervousness is about doing the right thing or hoping that people like me. Meanwhile many people choose to ignore their mental health issues and instead self medicate with alcohol, and lie about how much they consume and they probably pay half of what I've had to pay - grrrrrrrrr. I need to go sick Oona on some of these insurance underwriters.